Pause and Hit the Refresh Button

Too many people feel stuck in a rut they don’t know how to escape. They might daydream about making changes, but somehow, transformation never happens. Even if they face no obvious obstacles, they don’t progress toward their goals. Because it’s painful to think about how stagnant their life seems, they usually try not to think about their lack of forward movement. They don’t realize that if they pause and hit the refresh button of their lives, they might invite in the momentum for transformation. They might discover the courage to take a risk and make a change—or come up with a new idea about what they can do to be happier and more fulfilled.

What Happens When We Pause

When we pause and remain committed to staying present in the moment, we can spot the moments in which transformation is possible. We might only see an opportunity to make a small change around the margin of a problem, but each minor change can lead to another, and then another, drawing us forward toward our goals. If we would only take a brief pause, we could hit the refresh button and clear out old, stale ideas about who we are and what we can experience. We could experience that we’re capable of change, of taking the first step on a journey toward whatever we desire—having more friends, being healthier, reducing our anxiety, and so on.

When we pause, we might initially worry about the future or ruminate about the past. By using breathing exercises, we can overcome this anxiousness.

Pausing to Breathe

If we pause and focus on our breathing, paying close attention to how it feels to inhale and exhale, we can stay grounded in the present moment. At some point, often very quickly, our mind will start to wander. Then, all we have to do is gently pull it back to the experience and sensation of everyday breathing. Redirecting our focus can keep us from fretting about the unalterable past and the unknown future, no matter many times we become distracted and have to refocus once again. 

Another breathing exercise is to imagine inhaling healing light and exhaling toxins and energies that aren’t useful for us. This exchange may be imaginary, but our nervous systems don’t know that. They are likely to respond by turning on the parasympathetic nervous system, which clears the body of stress hormones, slows our breathing and heart rate, and causes us to relax. As a result of this shift, we feel more in control of our thoughts and feelings.

If we take a brief pause, we can also practice 4-7-8 breathing, as recommended by Dr. Andrew Weill for relaxation and resetting the nervous system: Breathe in for the count of four, hold your breath for seven counts, and exhale for eight counts. 

Present in the Moment, Present in Our Lives

Taking a short pause to hit the refresh button and relax helps us let go of beliefs and emotions that are getting in the way of finding the courage to be fully present in our lives. The more we take such pauses, the less likely we are to feel we’re stuck running on a treadmill and reacting to events outside our control. When we’re feeling calm, we can observe what’s happening without becoming anxious or angry. If we focus on our breathing for just a minute or so, we stop feeling quite so helpless. Our eyes open to new possibilities. We find the courage to take small actions, to risk changes that will move us in a new direction.

Pausing to Take a Small Step Toward Big Changes

You might intend to meditate but never quite get around to it. What if you were to take thirty seconds to pause and do a calming, focusing breathing exercise every time you find yourself at a stop light? As you sit in a waiting room, ready for an appointment, or you sit in your car as your partner finishes getting ready to go somewhere with you, you can fume about the wait, mindlessly scroll your phone, or use the time to pause and hit the refresh button. Do a breathing exercise, mentally compile a list of some things you’re grateful for, or come up with one thing you can do before bed to move you closer toward a goal you hope to reach. 

You can also make a point of calming your nervous system by picturing yourself in a beautiful natural spot. Imagine the sun setting, painting the clouds vibrant colors as the wind makes the trees around you slowly sway. Imagine the smell of pine as you stand in a forest, listening to birds calling to each other. You could also allow your mind to bring up a happy memory or a scene you’d like to experience that makes you smile. Your mind might try to convince you that it’s pointless to hope to have such experiences again soon, but let those thoughts float away as you experience joy in the moment. Notice what thoughts and ideas come in to replace them.

A simple shift out of worry or distraction and into fully experiencing the present can help you trust that you can make meaningful changes in your life and shift out of stuckness. Take advantage of a short pause to ground yourself in the present. Then, make one small change. 

New Choices, New Realizations

You might transform an everyday experience by smiling or saying hello to a stranger, making a momentary connection. Often, people feel lonely and disconnected but miss those small moments in which they can smile at someone, crack a joke, or start a conversation. My grandfather used to say, “It doesn’t cost a nickel to say hello.” It takes a moment, but that moment may refresh you and remind you that you affect others and are not alone. Recognizing this truth can help you feel hopeful that any small changes you make won’t be in vain and can lead to personal transformation.

Of course, establishing and maintaining new habits will help, too, but sometimes, we don’t even know what changes we want to make or are willing to make. A brief pause to hit the refresh button can give us clarity about what we most want and the courage to go after it. Even one small step can make a huge difference in our ability to wrest control of our lives and stop feeling like we’re victims of circumstance. Try it today and see how it feels to pause and start over, even if you’re in the middle of a conversation. Give yourself the time to shift into a new state of being, thinking, and feeling. Give yourself a chance to make new choices and experience new realizations.

Carl Greer, PhD, PsyD, is a retired clinical psychologist and Jungian analyst, a businessman, and a shamanic practitioner, author, and philanthropist, funding over 60 charities and more than 2,000 past and current Greer scholars. He has taught at the C.G. Jung Institute of Chicago and been on staff at the Replogle Center for Counseling and Well-Being. His new book is Go Within to Change Your Life: A Hidden Wisdom Workbook for Personal Transformation.